Krsna Conscious Reflections from Life

'Krsna Conscious Reflections from life'

01.11.2023 Reflection 13

„Is Sannyasa for Mataji?”
We have four asramas: brahmacarya - celibate, grhasta - marriage, vanaprastha - giving up family life, and fourth order, sannyasa - renunciation. All of these gradations operate within the Vaisnava system, and they should apply to all members of our institution called ISKCON.
Is this really the case?
In Buddhism, women take the path of enlightenment just as much as men, their path is exactly as difficult. Here there is 'alive' the concept that „I am not this body” which Srila Prabhupada used to stress. Renunciation means the same for all, regardless of gender or religious affiliation.
My Bhakti-sastri course teacher of Bhagavad-gita was Srimati Mataji, who was a Buddhist guru before joining Krsna Consciousness, and her disciples also became devotees. One Mataji told me about it, she along with her husband attended the course. She told me how her guru Bhakti Charu Swami sent her to Srimati Mataji to adopt certain habits. So she slept as she did on the floor and took extreme challenges as she did. She also told me as I remember that Srimati Mataji was (probably) the first mataji who was teaching male brahmacaris in Mayapur.
I, as a rather spontaneous person, a 'free artist', learned discipline and order from her, she arranged my life through teaching by her own strong example.
This experience undoubtedly left a mark on me, which I honed later on my own, raising the standards of my sadhana step by step. A sadhana that will accompany us to the end of our spiritual path as a certainty and security against the deviations of this world, as recommended by the sastras.
Srila Prabhupada has transmitted to us the Vaisnava culture, he has transmitted to us the entire essence of devotional service to Sri Sri Radha Krsna, and he has transmitted to us all the best that he has assimilated in his refined Hindu baggage. That also carries with it the habits of India's social structure, where women undoubtedly have their place, because it is instilled in them that they must be under the protection of either father, husband, or son, which is reasonable, although it is a 'convenient excuse'. Srila Prabhupada has opened all the doors to his disciples, be they men or women, yet, these influences are embedded somewhere.
I try not to interfere with this structure, and leave everything to the course of the current (because I am apolitical), but I myself sometimes think about certain aspects and I feel it could change. This, however, requires a lot of determination and strength, which comes from Krsna, or Radharani.
When I was on Orisa Bengal Yatra in 2015, reaching Mayapur, just opposite the Sannyasa Building, with my sheaved hair and orange clothes I thought this was some Krsna's joke (He always throws me in deep water). I saw the reactions of devotees (one devotee even asked me if I was a guru), the senior devotees, etc., and I heard some internal voice of appreciation communicated to me: „Now go and preach!”. But after this strong determination of mine, something changed in ISKCON, the female gurus were established. Was it my influence, I do not dare say, but Krsna has His purpose...
My resolve to enter the path of renunciation was very thoroughly thought out, deeply analyzed, and firm with Krsna's arrangements. I had no doubts about what to do. Just from the very beginning, when I joined Krsna consciousness, I already had this goal, I was shaving my hair, and usually wearing white or one-color clothes/sari, etc.
However, it was always my very personal mood, and path, not official...
I remember one devotee astrologer who told me that in my 'all' previous incarnations I was a male, that they were spiritually fixed personalities, and that is why I am so strong. This gave me a lot of food for thought and at the same time moved me further to scratch the subject and discover, for example, who I was before...
Krsna gives us answers and inspires us to move on, whether we want to or not. He determines our paths, for me He has chosen the path of a precursor, a pioneer in action in Krsna consciousness, this I know for sure. As I understand Krsna's intentions, my aim is to give strength to those who see more clearly and want to change the world for the better.
That is why, perhaps in spite of the many oppositions which, by the way, make me even stronger on my path („What does not kill you makes you stronger”), I hope to advance what Krsna wants to do through me...

Is sannyasa for everyone? Ultimately, I think it is....

Is it in this life? Why not?

Haribol!

 

Reflection 12
01.10.2023

"Be a Giver"

Srila Prabhupada talks about himself in this very way from his position, that he is a giver, not a gatherer...
We can consider here what this means for us, whether we can be givers, and whether this is also our position...
Once, many years ago, I was traveling somewhere, traveling allows us to get away from reality, to unbind..., at that time this question came to me, whether I can be a donor in full...
I remember my first days in the Krsna Consciousness Movement, where surprisingly I learned about Reiki in Lublin, in Poland. That involved accepting, in a sense, a new guru, a Reiki guru, who was also directly related to the Japanese Reiki creator and her revelations somewhere on some mountain...

This convergence of my involvements helped me understand the aspect of the workings of the Divine Energy, Brahman. On the one hand, conscious engagement in serving Krsna and inner development, on the other hand, awareness of the operation of His Energy in the universe from the outside. My Reiki guru showed me how to share everything with others in practice, that Brahman is not impersonal but personal, that we as individuals are a common combined energy of Brahman and we must learn to accept each other and not only that but also to cooperate and transmit this Divine Energy to each other whenever needed, what Srila Prabhupada stressed so much, to just cooperate.

He showed me how to literally feed a stranger sitting across from me and overcome the embarrassment... He taught me to give unconditionally without expecting anything in return...
I remember him asking me to lie down on some elevated platform, and also asking others to put their hands on my body.... It was a strange feeling to agree to this because I was already a devotee, but on the other hand, I knew that this was an element that freed me from the concept of my identification with the physical body. And so it was, I felt that the energy that was flowing through me was being transferred to others, that I was losing myself in this process of initial energy flow. When I returned to Asram, the devotees, quite skeptical of my Reiki teaching, said that I was radiating, that light was emanating from me.

I realized that giving Divine Energy was actually giving happiness, which also illuminated me and was very attractive to all...

Over the following years, I tried to transmit this Divine Energy to others in any way I could, without expectation or knowledge of others...
Simply giving to others... Raising their consciousness, elevating their life energy to new levels, healing their body and soul...
"Be a giver..." At that time I had not yet heard this statement, what Shrila Prabhupada meant by it, but I know that this is the only way, certainly for me, to function in this universe, whether others can see it, whether they can understand it, whether they can appreciate it out of their limits... That is not important, what is important is to serve Krsna in the widest way possible, to raise the consciousness of individuals, communities, or nations...

"Be a giver" raises the positive perspective of relationships with everyone around, no matter with whom.... Everyone needs this to finally come to the platform where one can see the necessity of Krsna Consciousness, everyone needs this support...
Undoubtedly Lord Caitanya, Srila Prabhupada, and many other Sadhus have instilled this mood of giving, of transmitting Krsna Consciousness. And undoubtedly 'sometimes' we manage to enter into this mood and unconditionally pass on this message...
What should we do to really make this our mission? Lord Caitanya's mission?
I leave this question unanswered,...

...this may be the time for some creativity, to take this challenge seriously or the time for complete commitment...

… and the time to remember that "The hardest thing is to love those who need it most..."

Hare Krsna!

Reflection 11
01.09.2023

Janmastami & Radhastami

Janmastami, the day of Lord Krsna's Appearance will be celebrated soon, and immediately after that, we celebrate the day of Srimati Radharani's Appearance...

Krsna is undoubtedly the God of contrasts and the intricacies of the process of self-realization, it is the God who is all and who offers Himself to all, like in the 'Purusa sukta'... It is the God at work, in action, in play, 'active' at all levels of the individual's path of self-realization, He is His sacrifice, devotion, and Divinity... He is splendor in all dimensions of His: Fame, Wealth, Beauty, Knowledge, Power, and Renunciation of this all...
He is the source of everything, God of teachings which He gives in Bhagavad-gita, God in the activity of passion who incarnates,... a protector, fighter, fulfiller of a particular mission, executor of a certain function... 'svayam'...

ete cāṁśa-kalāḥ puṁsaḥ
kṛṣṇas tu bhagavān svayam
indrāri-vyākulaṁ lokaṁ
mṛḍayanti yuge yuge

„All the (above) incarnations are either plenary portions or portions of plenary portions of the Lord, but Lord Śrī Kṛṣṇa is the original Personality of Godhead. All of them appear on planets whenever there is a disturbance caused by atheists. The Lord incarnates to protect the theists.”
(SB 1.3.28)
This description of Krsna stresses His supreme position, and are on the second level of sastras, Srimad Bhagavatam, the amala Purana, where Lord Sri Krsna is presented for His more special devotees, Paramahamsas of the second class.

We also read in 5.1 „Sri Brahma-Samhita” of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakur:

īśvaraḥ paramaḥ kṛṣṇaḥ
sac-cid-ānanda-vigrahaḥ
anādir ādir govindaḥ
sarva-kāraṇa-kāraṇam

„„Kṛṣṇa, who is known as Govinda, is the Supreme God. He possesses an eternal, blissful spiritual body. He is the source of everything. He has no other origin and is the root cause of all causes.”
That description of Krsna refers to Govinda in the abode of Svetadvipa, „...govindam adi purusam tam aham bhajami.” The realizations are on the platform of Brahma, who is the representative of passion, among Siva-ignorance and Visnu-goodness. Here also sahajiizm appears of pseudo followers, pretenders, with which Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati was fighting very strongly.
The understanding is that Svetadvipa is situated in the material world, in the place of all worship of God, Govinda, in the form of a hexagonal mandala, where the devotees direct their engagement, as an Abhideya process. It refers also to Mayapur, the place of worship designated by Srila Prabhupada.

Krsna is the summum bonum, the beginning and an end in Himself, but universally known in our circles as our support, a family member, we can rely on Him like a best friend...
He is ready to put His devotee above everything, and such is Krsna, the vatsala bhakta - one who puts His devotee above everything and is ready to fully devote Himself to His devotee. It is said that Krsna even takes the form that the devotee desires...
Krsna as a boy can bring His father's shoes on His head, He can dance when His mother's companions ask Him, He serves His relatives in various ways.... His lilas show us how we ourselves should act in our lives, nobly and with respect for our guardians or with devotion for our friends... It is a display of living in human existence, but Krsna also defies, rebels, shows that He is not just an ordinary human being but God, shows that He can do whatever He wants, breaking all moral precepts, that He is above all human dharma law and its consequences. In this way, He also shows the way for those devotees who rose already 'above the law'...
This part presents us with one side of Krsna's nature, as Krsna-Balaram on the level of Supersoul serving all, but there is another side of Krsna, and it is Radha-Krsna...
 

'Radhastami'... Who knows or cares for Radharani?... Very few, concentrated in one village called Vrndavan and around it. But these devotees of Her know that without Her existence Krsna cannot exist. It is She who gives permission to serve Krsna from the external side, and, it is She who is cognizable internally by Krsna's permission. Externally She is known as the serving energy of God, a Sakti of a Saktiman, which means that she is mistaken with Durga's power of sakti or Laxmi. But actually, She is an Internal Divinity that we cannot comprehend from an external vision. We can read in Caitanya Caritamrta about the identity of Radha and Krsna:

rādhā kṛṣṇa-praṇaya-vikṛtir hlādinī śaktir asmād
ekātmānāv api bhuvi purā deha-bhedaṁ gatau tau

„The love affairs of Śrī Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa are transcendental manifestations of the Lord's inner pleasure-giving power. Although Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa are 'ONE in Their Identity', they are eternally separated... „ (CC Adi 4.55).

'eka-ātmānau' – both are the same in identity...

„Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa is One. Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa is the combined potency of Kṛṣṇa's pleasure. When Kṛṣṇa manifests His pleasure potency, He appears to be two - Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. Otherwise Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa are ONE.” (CC Madhya 8.282 purport)
Here the descriptions of God are on the third level of sastras „Sri Caitanya Caritamrta” for most special devotees of Radha-Krsna, Advanced Paramahamsas of the first class.
… Here One simply means One Person in Two Persons. They divided into Two persons... Is it Possible that One God can be in Two Persons? For God all is possible, and when They are again One Person that means They are 'Complete Person', Complete Highest God... One Person also means that They both feel the same or think the same at the same time, when Krsna is happy Radharani is happy, when Radharani is not happy, Krsna is not happy, etc... There is not possible to separate Them because They are always together as One Soul, when Krsna has His pastimes, Radharani is always with Him, reflects the same as He feels, although She is sometimes in a distance...
Some acaryas say that Radha Krsna is „One Flame”...
Srila Prabhupada in „Golden Avatara” wrote, paraphrasing, that Krsna alone is sometimes called Paramatma, 'cit' (the level of Guru), and Radha is 'ananda', Radha Krsna together, as One They are on the higher level of Bhagavan..., and this is our Prayojana, the Goal.
The Glory of Radharani is hidden, Radharani's mysticism transcends external cognition, the kind of cognition by which Krsna can be known. She remains beyond the curtain of mystery of the transcendental world. Here even Krsna has no entry without Her permission. Krsna is the God of all, and Radharani is the Goddess of Krsna alone. Therefore service to Radharani is veiled from the outer, material world. The inner world can be known only to some advanced devotees...
First, we celebrate Lord Balarama's Appearance, 'sat' (and/or His feminine counterpart Ananga manjari), then we will celebrate Janmastami, Sri Krsna's Appearance, 'cit', and then we will celebrate Radhastami, the Appearance of Srimati Radharani, 'ananda', this is the gradation of advancement in a vertical way in sac-cid-ananda aspect of God, Brahman, Paramatma, and Bhagavan or the inner circles...

All those festivals are big events for us devotees, it is undoubtedly a time of extremely exciting enjoyment in which we can participate...
Jaya Radhe!, Jaya Krsna! Jaya Vrndavana!

Reflection 10

01.08.2023

„Do we need a Vaisnava Etiquette?”

The term Etiquette refers in general to the set of norms of personal behavior in polite society, usually occurring in the form of an ethical code of the expected and accepted social behaviors that accord with the conventions and norms observed and practiced by a society, a social class, or a social group.

Of course, we all have more or less of an idea of what Vaisnava Etiquette means...
Srila Prabhupada left us with a whole spectrum of Vaisnava Etiquette. The model of the Vaisnava Etiquette is presented for instance actually in the entire "Caitanya Caritamrta", here the perfect manners of Lord Caitanya Himself and His companions are presented magnificently, for us Vaisnavas exemplary.

When I studied in India at VIHE Vrndavan one devotee, who is at present a sannyasi did a seminar on Vaisnava Etiquette in which my teachers (surprisingly) also participated. It was an interesting experience, and later I also presented such a seminar myself in Poland. But I was still missing something, I wanted to explore it to understand the subject even more deeply, so I started following the sastras in this regard which led me even further in my research. And I concluded that basically, everything we do in our spiritual development practice is our Vaisnava Etiquette....

My return to Poland after many years spent studying sastras was somewhat of a shock to me. The Vaisnava culture that I had extensively imbibed day after day at Vrndavan in the company of wonderful senior Vaisnavas paved my life with a path of purity, openness, sincerity, kindness, and many other qualities that I wanted to cultivate. My shock was that in the West all this clashed with the different reality in which devotees live... My effort to pass on this knowledge was described as "old school" and the resistance I encountered was really strange so to say.
Now, years later, I see the dissonance differently, I know what devotees have to deal with in their daily lives, remaining somewhere between the outside harsh world and spiritual practices.
The hard hearts of the Western world are so difficult to break through, 'cynicism', 'cunning', and 'egotism'... permeates and distance from a candid view of the existence of the inner world leading to spiritual experiences...
 

A complete lack of understanding of sincere intentions turns what is most important in life upside down.... as Krsna describes in the Bhagavad Gita in the fifteenth chapter, where He depicts the Banyan Tree with its roots up and branches down.... everything upside down, the truth turns into falsehood, and falsehood becomes unbroken domination. And those who, instead of using their intelligence and seeking the truth, cling to imaginary nonsense that creates an illusory reality next to the true reality, like parallel worlds created in minds. And the most amazing thing is that it is so easy to lose oneself in this illusion, although, in the depths of the heart, there is this understanding that all this is just an aparadha...

So where is there room for culture, what to say about Vaisnava Culture or Etiquette in its proper context...
I think to myself that we need a real reform, a real transformation of habits, and norms, and undoubtedly a 'global cleansing' to come to the factual level of Vaisnava Etiquette...
Is this 'Utopia'? Maybe, but it is always worth a try and a start... maybe start by thinking about it and considering it...

Haribol!

Reflection 9

03.07.2023

„Guru (Vyasa) Purnima”

Vyasa means one who describes elaborately...

Today is that day of a great global reflection on the 'Guru Principle'...
The mission that every Guru carries with him, for "Guru is One", comes to us and other 'lucky' persons unadulterated, with a pure message straight from the chain of succession of disciples, straight from Krsna...
This aspect of unconditional acceptance of the message from the 'Guru Principle' which reaches us generally to all and individually to each is the key to our spiritual progress.
All this places us firmly on the path of purification leading straight to God, and it is only up to us to properly open ourselves to this message from the "Guru" and to follow it unconditionally making our progress on this path accelerated, which will surely satisfy our Guru and Krsna.

This 'Guru Principle' is Paramatma in the heart, and only those who are on this platform and who are able to listen to the pure transmission from the heart are qualified Gurus, the successors of Vyasadeva, Veda Vyasa, Krsna Dwaipayana Vyasa. This aspect is the "One Guru", who as the transmitter of the Supreme Soul in the heart connects mystically with Paramatma, with God situated in the Heart, and therefore the transmission is pristine because it comes directly from God. Here the answers to all questions appear as revelations, which are supported by the sastras, the revelations of Krsna Dwaipayana Vyasa, who himself compiled the Vedas and other revealed scriptures, later divided the Vedas into four by passing them on to his disciples, and created the fifth Veda commentaries on the Vedas. He compiled also Srimad Bhagavatam as the essence of the purest and highest knowledge of God. From this knowledge draws every Guru, who in a sense is given the title Vyasa, hence Vyasa Puja. We can meet this title in many revealed scriptures as many Vyasas - commentators, qualified Gurus in the position of revelations directly from Paramatma.

It is a great privilege to be in such an august company, to hear from the most qualified ones, we owe this in our mission, in ISKCON to the founder Srila Prabhupada, of which we are a part. We also owe it to our Guru in the succession of disciples, who is the initiating Guru but also the siksa, the instructing Guru, whose direct support is invaluable, and the other siksa Gurus who support him.
So we are blessed with these privileges and certainly most grateful for every gift from the highest heaven shown to us...

On this day we can focus on the values and messages that the Guru carries.
We can reflect or trace our path with our Guru, what we owe to him, and what we want to thank him for in our hearts.
Because surely we are aware of how deeply we are grateful to him, ...where we would be now without him without his support and guidance...
Those values that we receive from the Guru we are not able to repay, we are not able to repay him properly, because these values are priceless...
The spiritual knowledge he shares with us is priceless, the realizations he gives us are priceless and the time he gives us is priceless....
All this makes us perpetually indebted to our Guru, perpetually unpaid...

Hare Krsna!

Reflection 8
01.06.2023

„5 Rasas Exposure”

We ask many questions of the elder Vaiṣṇavas and the Gurus, but how do we understand the answers, with our 'Minds' or our 'Hearts'? And what does it mean to understand with the 'Heart'? Without the proper position of 'adhikara' or qualification, unfortunately, we are unable to grasp this Vaiṣṇava philosophy adequately. It is always partial.
Srila Prabhupada has kept saying to not jump to the Tenth Canto but to start the process from Bhagavad-gita and the First Canto of Srimad Bhagavatam, and go progressively higher and higher into the platforms of more advanced consciousness.
We could rise here a question, whether one is really able to recognize the advanced self-realized devotee...

I remember being at the Radhadesh Temple for the first time in 1993/94 and starting my devotional service from the beginning... Once, playing the harmonium alone in the temple, I sang for Sri Sri Radha Gopinath. Looking at the Deities, a realization came to me: „What does Śrīmati Rādhārārāṇī think when we turn only to Kṛṣṇa, and what Krsna things? How do They feel when we enter into the relationship of this Divine Couple, into Their eternal relationship as the Eternal Couple?”
That questions, this issues stayed with me to this day and I discover new answers all the time...

In this case, we should of course explore the whole process that we follow but it is good to first 'properly' understand the 5 basic Rasas that we have with Govinda. Our Ācāryas describe this Rasas, especially Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī in his "Bhakti Rasamrta Sindhu".
However, the whole notion of the 5 Rasas is a very complex and powerful structure dealing with all concepts of sublime emotional transformations, here we can only give some epitomes of this.
The first Rasa is the Santa Rasa, a Neutral Rasa whose aim is to find inner peace by practicing yoga, cutting oneself off from the outside world, and approaching the knowledge of God. The second Rasa is the next step in spiritual development, and that is Dasya Rasa, where actually our devotional service begins to the Lord, as well as serving Gurus and Vaiṣṇavas based on this knowledge. Perfection in this Rasa takes us to the third level, which is the level of Sakhya Rasa. And here friendship with the Lord and with Vaiṣṇavas begins, without jealousy. Perfection on this level brings us to the next Vatsalya Rasa, where there is parental care of Govinda, manifested in practice as worship of the Deities. Responsibility in this Rasa leads to the next fifth stage of the partner's Madhurya Rasa, it is the "freeing" Rasa from humanity's greatest sensual attachment...
As long as there is this illusion, where someone can get stuck, there is the state of 'dream'...

This is in fact, a wonderful process of developing our consciousness through devotional service. All of these Rasas transform our habits from an outward view of life to an inward service to God, turning our faces. These are the rungs to be transcended and practically ridden of material attachments to particular rasas in the material world from the gross level by inner, mental meditation on the Lord in the subtle area of our limited imaginations. It is the transformation of oneself in this gradual alive Evolution of the 5 Rasas and growth of consciousness from the so-called 'baby' to the maturity of our spiritual body.
The question arises here, what is left if all these Rasas are merely levels to be achieved or tasks that we must pass and overcome our weaknesses of heart... (?)
That begins with 'Pure Devotional Service' we can say on the 'Sixth' platform above Three Modes of Nature, lifting us to the fourth dimension, the spotless service, immaculately serving Si Sri Radha-Kṛṣṇa... together... Those who can understand that basic are qualified, 'Advanced', and have the right 'Adhikara'...
This 'Adhikari' qualification means that one can rise above those very subtle, mental world of 5 Rasas and enter the high, very rare level of true Renunciation, that is the position of one who instructs, who is above, who is a seer... And from this higher perspective, he can set an example for others as 'Acārya'. This is also the sannyasa, devotion to the care of Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī Herself, for then one is silent and „innocent like a child” and does not want to separate or disturb the eternal Divine Couple, Sri Sri Radha Kṛṣṇa, but accepts Them as a whole, loves and serves Them Both. This is the 'Highest Level of Devotion'... Whoever can understand this wins the battle with Maya, with Maha Maya - earthly attachments on the gross level and Yoga Maya on the Subtle emotional levels of ideas, dreams, or desires...
Srila Prabhupada has given us the opportunity to serve the Divine Couple Sri Sri Radha Kṛṣṇa in our Temples, He has not given us only Kṛṣṇa or only Rādhārāṇī to worship, but He has given us the 'Complete Whole', the inseparable fullness of Divinity in Their highest standards of worship. Understanding this special process of purification through Rasas and as well other 'Values' elevates our qualifications, which is our goal...
So, we are very fortunate, we are already in this sublime process...
Haribol!

Reflection 7

"Lord Nrsimha Identity Realization"

Mystical forms of the Supreme Lord, difficult to recognize or understand... appear in the extraordinary task system of the 'duties' performed, whether general organizational duties or so-called plays of the Lord, which are also tasks always concealing the deeper meaning of purification of any anarthas or aparadhas for those who undertake the path of devotion. Those illusory plays are merely the overcoming of the rungs of one's weaknesses of the heart in the five rasa levels of realizations, a long arduous process of purification from the worldly rasas so deeply rooted in our consciousness of samskaras.
In between these myriad forms of the Lord who help us on the path of self-realization, we have the form of Lord Nrsimhadeva, the great protector of His devotees. A mighty incarnation in whose arms the helpless devotees in the world of mixed demonic moods hide. His "Ugra" Deity forms are a great mental support and protection, His majestic forms with Laksmi seated with Him give splendor in our worship, His Yoga-meditation form like the yoga-nidra of Maha Visnu makes us 'unreal' and helps us to rise above the material coverings of this world to the fourth dimension, and His unique form with Prahlad seated on His lap gives us comfort and solace...
It was this form that we can see at Simhacalam Farm in Germany that caught my attention more than usual not long ago, the realization or even revelation that came to me surprised and amazed me, absolutely. The form of Visnu, Krsna appeared here to be that of Shrimati Radharani defending her devotee (perhaps... somehow related to the mood of the Goddess Kali, Durga defending the devotee of the Lord, Jada Bharata, we can see in Śrimad Bhagavatam Canto 5, as we know Śrimati Radharani is the source of all female forms of all Goddesses)... The fury of Nrsimhadeva with which He/She appears here to protect His devotee changes from defender to guardian taking the helpless, humble, and faithfully serving devotee into His/Her lap. Why did I see Strimati Radharani in this form, and who was She then defending by appearing somewhere in Germany during those years? Undoubtedly, it was a difficult time of communism with many anxieties, and the grace of Krsna and Srimati Radharani poured out in times of danger. This Mercy was an answer to prayers and pleas for help then, and is valid in all circumstances and at all times...
This fact grounds and reassures sincere followers that the bhakti-yoga path we follow is always supported in many ways by the Lord in His unlimited forms...

Reflection 6
04.04.2023

"Return to Reality"

Like dust after a great battle, emotions are slowly subsiding in a whirlwind of successively larger and smaller battles of everyday life... so the following days erase the trace imprinted on the heart by the presence of Holy Dham Vrndavan and Govardhana... Return is inevitable, physical return and lastly mental return, we cut ourselves off from the past with the coming present and future. 

It remains to thank Guru Maharaj and all the organizers of the Govardhan Retreat for an intensive but nicely planned schedule. Every single day was well thought out and fully filled from morning to late evening with trips to various interesting holy places or other attractions, bhajans, etc...  Thank you first of all for paying for my stay there, it's a strange and rather embarrassing situation for me because I have always been independent in every way. 

I first felt dependent on the devotees when I fell ill with jaundice in Vrndavan during my studies at VIHE in Vrndavan. The illness knocked me down completely and I had to depend on the support of those who helped me, at the time it wasn't financial help, but just cooking for me and bringing food to the hospital in Vrndavan where I was staying. That was a turning point in my life in that respect. I realized that this was the time for a change, for a more conscious surrender to Krsna's will, and for putting myself in His hands and in the hands of His bhaktas. Slipping the

n between life and death, I realized that Krsna was giving me a second chance, a second life, perhaps a new life, even a more humble one, dependent completely on His will and the support of others. I remember those thoughts then of "Whatever Krsna"... This feeling of helplessness of a child has stayed with me somewhere in my heart, and I can now understand those who leave this world, how they feel helpless and devoted to Krsna...

Now, after the death of my mother, who was a kind of inner intimate witness to my life, a natural support that was always evident, I had to surrender to this current again.... again to depend on devotees whom I basically barely know or know little of. It is always strange to trust Krsna and His arrangements in a situation of powerlessness.

Surprisingly, the day before I left for Govardhan Retreat, I received a letter from the Bank where my mother and I had taken out a loan for my ticket to India not long before her death. Now, five months after her death, I received a reply that it was time to repay the debt. The thing that I preferred to forget or hoped somewhere in my heart would pass away was now scaring me with its realization. This was not a good sign just before Govardhan Retreat, but somehow I shadowed this fact, not wanting to spoil my stay at Holy Dham.

Unfortunately, reality caught up with me upon my return... 

The material world with its reactions.

But one has to go forward and face that reality, looking for solutions and Krsna's bounty in everything that comes and seeing Krsna in everything we encounter... And always remember Krsna and never forget Him. 

Reflection 5

01 March 2023

„Govardhan Retreat's recollection...”

Back in India...
Surprisingly, leaving Delhi airport at night is not clogged with sticky humid heat as usual, but with chill.... It's not Kartik time when I used to come here.
After a wait of over two hours and one taxi for three groups of devotees we finally managed to get in and take three taxis to Govardhan.... although not exactly... About halfway on the highway a phone call to the driver, confusion, we stop. The driver from the neighbouring taxi gets out and points at us to get out of the car. I thought: "Where do you get off in the middle of the motorway? That was not a good start...". Some arguments that they did not send enough cars as booked, and now that someone else has arrived and is waiting at the airport they want to throw us out of the taxi... It worked, everything is settled. We go on ... The atmosphere calms down...

Finally a moving moment of merging in the transcendence of the Holy Dham, we are there, welcomed by a frozen in space colossus of sacred stones.... Govardhan... I knew immediately, that in spite of everything this time will be different, that something is opening...
And I was not wrong, it was one of the best times I have spent in India, with Maharaj, Vrajavasis bringing every evening Vrndavan in their mood of songs, and devotees maybe somewhere between earth and heaven....
This time nothing mattered anymore, some mental jumble, the meaning of which I do not even want to know anymore, which is not there in reality.... Everything is gone... The Sacred Dham has completely engulfed my soul with its spirituality...
Perdition... impossible to imitate...

We visited many places but I kept missing Vrndavan, one visit, then another... and it was only then, the second time, that my desire to merge into this World Beyond was fulfilled.
I wondered why such an important place was left out of the Retreat programme. Was the grace of Srimati Radharani missing, or maybe the mercy of Govardhan - Krsna is enough this time....
Certainly these individual visits to Vrndavan were necessary for me to personally digest my past, the years of study there have penetrated me and gone. I am no longer the sadhaka I used to be, I have grown out of that delightful Vrndavan, the realisation has liberated me. I remember when I studied at VIHE in Vrndavan and visited Radhadesh, I felt the same, that I had grown out of Radhadesh. It was good to visit, but it wasn't that anymore. Now that I have come to Vrndavan after many years a similar mood has come over me, that time has changed me, our spiritual bodies are developing, growing and like children grow out of their old clothes, new clothes need to be put on....
So I said goodbye to my past Vrndavan and... to Govardhan, I will dig further in this extraordinary hidden world revealing spirituality only to those who are really serious and ready for it, I will try to be even more ready for the next meeting, for the return....

 
Reflection 4
03 February 2023.

„Vrndavan from my memories”

I still have in my heart that last sublime wonderful evening kirtan of Aindra just before my departure to Poland in 2007... I left many months and years spent in Vrndavan near Krsna Balaram Mandir behind for many years to come.

One of my devotee friends, a former head pujari of Radhadesh, once asked me what I took away from those trips to India. Radhadesh was my first temple, the 'Mother Temple', which he introduced me to in 1994/95, then assisted in my first trip to India for Srila Prabhupada Centennial in 1996, and from there, from Radhadesh, I traveled to Vrndavan in 2001 for several years of study at VIHE.

My answer to his question was simple, the time I spent in Vrndavan was one of the most wonderful of my life, perhaps challenging and contrasting strong eastern spirituality and hardened western materialism, where I had to return every year after each subsequent exam.

For what better thing to do in this life than to listen to the Shrimad Bhagavatam in the Holy Dhamma every morning and afternoon from Bhagavata people or to attend the kirtans of the 'spiritually haunted' Aindra every evening... A time that will never return...

I can say that there is no place on earth like Vrndavan for me, which I carry in my heart because it is my heart. Every corner of this land, Varsana, Govardhan, etc. is somewhere in my memories, in my life. In some sense, I am there every day, in my 'inner world'.

India is so shocking with its down-to-earth cover of heaps of rubbish, poverty, and squalor intertwined with the glamour and wealth that the country and the people themselves conceal, materially, but above all spiritually. It is the cradle of spirituality, where Vrndavan is the center of all centers of this spirituality, which cannot be seen with mundane eyes but with the heart. One Person reigns there, spreading Her grace to all, where Her name 'Jay Radhe' is intoned. And this is no coincidence... this extraordinary space, Vrndavan, is Her immediate abode. Those who have made it there know this.

In general, however, it is a lovely place full of the pastimes of Sri Sri Radha Krsna relentlessly narrated, chanted, invoked, and realized in the imaginations of the listeners... Where the dust on the bare feet of the passing pilgrims, its extremely gentle touch manifests the times when Krsna Himself and Radharani, along with Their companions stepped barefoot on this holy ground enshrining this holy land...

Reflection 3
7 January 2023

"The Time"
We just said goodbye to an Old Year 2022, no doubt with relief and without hesitation, and we welcomed with open hearts, great hopes, curiosity, and joy New Year 2023.
We wonder what it will bring, and what interesting things will happen. We are concerned about the future, especially our future.
We are intrigued by what we can expect in this New Year.
Time, the passing of time, the Past, and the Future, but would it not be worth considering the Present time or beyond time?
Where I am in the 'Now'...
We can read in the sastras, in the revealed scriptures, that there is no time in the Spiritual World, only 'Now'. What does this mean? There is one description of Swetadvipa:
'… nimesardhakhyo va vrajati na hi yatrapi samayah …'
”... where there is eternal existence of transcendental time, who is ever present and without past or future and hence is not subject to the quality of passing away even for the space of half a moment. That realm is known as Goloka only to a very few self-realized souls in this world."
('Sri Brahma-samhita' 56).
… We can imagine the eternal time, overlapping events, reaching for knowledge and wisdom from everywhere without time barriers, and the vision of everything at once. It is like the vision of Virat Rupa, the Cosmic Form of the Lord described in Bg ch. 11, where Krsna shows Arjuna everything at once in one place, without time limits, but Arjuna got then special eyes, a special vision.

Let us 'STOP' now for a moment, withdraw from our busy lives, and go inside...
Then we will more clearly see the illusion that, in fact, we create with our desires, decisions, or so to say sometimes 'too intense external engagement'. That is the First Level of the Maha Maya Illusion.
Not only does this happen, but by developing spiritually we also create another world according to our desires as another illusion... And that is the Second Level of Illusion in 5 Rasas created by our will and disposed of by Yoga Maya.
And the essential question here is, what is our true relationship with the Divine Couple Sri Sri Radha Krsna in the eternal Spiritual World on the Third Top Level without any illusion, in Their Sixth Rasa?
To answer that question we can take a STEP forward to that eternity beyond time, by approaching it even more seriously through the Maha Mantra: "Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare", which contains all spiritual secrets, and is a GATE to the Spiritual World, giving us a whole divine picture by unveiling it peace by peace... undoubtedly Swetadvipa:

Reflection 2
07 December 2022

"Spiritual, Krsna-conscious time spent with my mother..."

Memories pierce me like arrows, constantly returning.... So deep in me is your mother's love....
The shock of your departure has passed, leaving a void in my heart, prosaically....
I could never imagine a time without you, you were always there, you always supported me in everything, unfailingly....
I know that you gave me everything you had, with an extraordinary dedication that I will never forget....
These are the most wonderful memories of a loving mother, gentle and tender... in a turbulent world...
This grief for you will never go away, I know it, too deep in me is your love that has become part of my life....
We have relationships we don't understand, we don't know where they come from and where they lead us... Various feelings bind us and even enslave us, I wanted to free myself from them, and now I see that there was no need, because your love, care, shelter were your nature and the blessings you generously poured out on me....
You had to go on your way alone, I could not help you more than possible....
Now I have to find my way without you... to heal the wound of your departure, which is still fresh...
When parents leave, they always take a part of themselves out of our being, that's how it was after my dad left, I didn't think he was so deep in my life... and I in his. And now you are gone, taking with you something so precious that I will never find again....
... the special, unconditional love of a mother who is no longer here, who is nowhere to be found....
It is strange that Krsna kept me so close to you, that you were part of my spiritual consciousness, drawing from everything I realised on my spiritual path, and I was happy to pass everything on to you seeing your sincere interest. You have often surprised me with the astuteness of your insights and extremely apt remarks on a spiritual level, it was enough for you to listen to what I told you about Him. It was enough for you that I read to you the Bhagavad-gita and other books, you did not have to study the sastras for years, everything was within you, understanding, realisation and love for God, for Krsna....
You loved Him by loving me and you loved me by loving Him....
all those flowers that you brought me for Him now are a share of His mercy for you....
And so it will be... I know that you will be in His care and in His love... undoubtedly...

It is like the vision of Virat Rupa, the Cosmic Form of the Lord described in Bg ch. 11, where Krsna shows Arjuna everything at once in one place, without time limits, but Arjuna got then special eyes, a special vision.

Let us 'STOP' now for a moment, withdraw from our busy lives, and go inside...

Then we will more clearly see the illusion that, in fact, we create with our desires, decisions, or so to say sometimes 'too intense external engagement'. That is the First Level of the Maha Maya Illusion.

Not only does this happen, but by developing spiritually we also create another world according to our desires as another illusion... And that is the Second Level of Illusion in 5 Rasas created by our will and disposed of by Yoga Maya.

And the essential question here is, what is our true relationship with the Divine Couple Sri Sri Radha Krsna in the eternal Spiritual World on the Third Top Level without any illusion, in Their Sixth Rasa?

To answer that question we can take a STEP forward to that eternity beyond time, by approaching it even more seriously through the Maha Mantra: "Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare", which contains all spiritual secrets, and is a GATE to the Spiritual World, giving us a whole divine picture by unveiling it peace by peace... undoubtedly!

Reflection 1
02 November 2022

"Birth and Death"

The timing of the start of this session coincides with my birthday on the second of November. A time of celebration and more, a time to reflect on life and death...
It is a time when in Poland, the country where I was born, 'All Saints' is celebrated on the first of November, as I think all saints means all saints, those from Poland, Europe, or India. It's quite a long list and probably a big spiritual bonus for remembering and venerating these unique personalities. Thinking about many of them here, those I even knew, we can find holiness in anyone if we look deep enough.... There are gradations of degrees of holiness, but this is already a very broad topic....
It is also a time when 'All the Dead' is honored on the second day, exactly the day I was born.
It is a strange time to think of the dead as another human being, myself, is born. One could then bypass the subject of the dead, exclude it, or ignore it, but one cannot. The following years, in a way, caught me thinking about the dead, instead of celebrating my birthday like everyone else around me did. You could say it's an imposed challenge, a lack of attachment, and it probably is....
This year, like every year, I thought more deeply about it, I thought about Reincarnation, death, and re-birth, and for the first time, I decided to override old habits and celebrate my birthday instead of thinking about the dead.
The remnants of my connection to tradition were buried with the death of my good mother over a month ago. Somewhere in the back of my mind, there was always this subtle thread connecting me to her....
I remember a vision that appeared to me, among many others, as soon as I joined the Hare Krsna Movement. During the dream I was floating above the ground, it was dark all around, and I was rising higher and higher, seeing buildings below, the city.... higher and higher... I felt freedom and wanted to fly away completely... but at one point I saw a thin silver shiny thread connecting me to the ground.... I didn't yet understand as a very beginner devotee what this meant in the wider Vedic sense. I remember wanting very much to break out of this entanglement, but subconsciously I knew it was not possible, not at that moment.... It was astonishing....
After years of study and research, everything became clearer, my subtle body was not ready for the freedom my soul craved. The lids of conditioning were holding me strong with a subtle silver thread in the world to which I currently belonged....
One thought was my connection to my mother's subtle umbilical cord.
Other thoughts that came to mind were my subtle connection to mother earth because in my vision it was really her that I was somehow attached to....
There are Gunas of material nature, goodness, passion, and ignorance, called ropes, binding a living being in the material world.... And in my next vision also from those many years ago, I saw in a dark cosmic space a large box in which the three figures above were manipulating the others below like puppets, pulling the strings....
Arguably, there may be other astonishing connections in this topic.... Process... Thick layers of conditioning to break through.... How much longer will it take to break free from these bondage?